Friday, July 22, 2011

Big Fish.......

I have been thinking about this blog.  What do i want it to be about?  I think it will contain some fond memories, funny stories, and even some new occasions.  I was thinking about the movie "Big Fish".  I guess something along those lines.  So here goes the first entry.

Back when i was in the Army, I was befriended by a sergeant. His name was Paul, (not including) last names, in order to protect the never been innocent.  Paul and I were always pulling practical jokes on one another, kept things exciting/extremely annoying, especially when in the field, and your exausted.  Anyway, we were in the Mojave desert during NTC. "desert warefare training".  Now understand, that as a former Ranger, my most often venue for combat training was Jungles.  anyway, we had been on patrol for 3 days/ no sleep, when we arrived at a Mech units TOC. (Tactical Operations Center).  Where we were given the chance to get a little shut eye, before we assisted in (Their) TOC operations for a couple of days, and then back to the Sand box.  Anyway, the first night i took first guard watch, and told Paul to get some sleep, i would wake him in a couple of hours.  Everything was fine.  I was thinking what i could pull on ole Paul, and then decided to let the poor boy sleep, after all we were exausted.  Well after two hours i woke him up, and it was my turn to finally get some much needed shut eye.  about half an hour after getting into and zipping the sleeping bag shut (loaned by one of the Mech Unit guys),  I feel something very heavy on top of my sleeping bag.  It seems "ole Paul" was not going to extend me the same courtesy i extended him......  So i yelled to Paul from inside the warm comfort of the sleeping bag, to get the "effin" rock off me, and i didn't "mess" with him, so dont "fess" with me.  see the adjusted word usage there?? lol, anyway.  i gave it a couple minutes still no rock removal.  so even louder i gave the same fair warning to Paul again.  Same Result, (Last Warning) now, if you don't get the rock off me, i'm gonna come outta this bag and Whoop your A$$.  I heard Paul say "shut-up man your gonna get us into trouble.  well being tired, no exausted, and not being in any mood to put up with bull, i suddenly unzipped my bag, to go "Whoop his A$$" when i came eye to forked tongue with a big huge Gila Monster Lizard!!!!so i start screaming (ex combat vet style), and start rolling (still zipped into the sleeping bag) with said Gila monster "Latched onto the bag, and rolling with me".  Now folks, most people think of deserts as long flat dry areas, and that is almost right, but when radio communications are needed they parked on top of very high sand drifts, (Hills), and me and Mr. Gila were on top of it as well.  Well here we go rolling down a 25 foot plus embankment, him latched on, and me screaming....  Needless to say i broke (Tactical) silence, and ended up pulling RTO (radio Operator) duty, and got perhaps a whopping 15 minutes of sleep after 3 days without.     So There you are the first post on be all that you can be.